Stolen--or is it?

Over the past few weeks, there are several moments (days, even) that, if pressed to describe, I would say that "it feels like my joy, my happiness, is just...gone." Some of these moments have definite causes. I feel criticized for things I cannot help or sincerely cannot see anything wrong with (such as the way I eat beef jerky...that was a weird conversation). I had to follow a driver who was doing a poor job and made me have to swerve or slam on my brakes multiple times to avoid an accident. Over the past few days especially, I've had encounters with a large amount of very rude people...something that instantly gets under my skin on even the brightest of days.

Even as a child, Stephanie Tanner had a good grasp of the situation.

I've "dealt" with these situations and moved on from each specific occurrence, but there still seems to be something--or someone--keeping me from being the bubbly person I normally am. Instead of laughing and smiling all the time, I'm getting a little mopey and have even burst into tears a couple of times for no reason. No, it's not PMS (and shame on you for thinking so...hehehe). The blue fog fades after a few minutes or hours...and then I'll be busy with one of my jobs, projects, or listening to my Christian fantasy novels on my iPod. The joy returns.

A close friend told me that it sounded like a spiritual attack--Satan was stealing my joy, putting obstacles in my way, because he's scared of me and the wonderful work I'm doing for God. It made (and still does make) a lot of sense. All of my jobs are service-oriented. My writing is primarily Christian or from Christian perspective. The music and books I listen to are almost all Christian as well. My sports and singing work, the goodies I bake...all are tied to my church. When I'm serving God, I'm joyful again. The more I work, the more joyful I am...and the more I encounter these periods of blue funk. Hmmm. Doesn't take a genius to start connecting these dots.

What is really striking about these attacks is how they are resolved. I do something, whether it's praying, serving someone, singing, worshiping, reading something inspiring, or using the talent God gave me for writing and creating a new blog entry or advancing a fiction novel to the next level. Satan may know exactly what buttons to push to drain out the stores of joy I've built up, but there's a problem with his plumbing pranks. He's stealing a renewable resource. Every time I turn back to my faith, turn back to the path that God has me on, I'm given joy unspeakable and full of glory (to paraphrase that old song). I will never run out of joy provided that I never stop choosing God over the darkness.

Just one of many daily occurrences as a Christian...although I don't look *this* fantastic in draped fabric.

I will still have bad days. I will still have moments where I doubt myself or God when I truly know better than that (just like I know better than to walk down the candy aisle at Wal-Mart....). I will still struggle sometimes and need friends and God to help push me back to where I need to be. The difference between the woman I was six years ago who fell to the brink of no return and woman I am now is mostly my relationship with God. It's not a perfect relationship by any means--I want it to be a closer, stronger one. I need it to be.

I still find great comfort in knowing that God's got my back. With Him for me, who can really be against me? I have faith in that no matter how I feel or what is going on, God will NEVER give me more than what I can handle. He will ALWAYS keep me, love me, and protect me in his infinite wisdom and power. It's like ADT...only a billion times better with an unbreakable guarantee.

A supernatural security plan is more available than you might think....