We all know one of "those." The woman who never grew up and still acts like a spoiled brat well into her twenties...or thirties...or fifties... The woman who has no people skills but ends up working in nursing or as a secretary or as a counselor. The woman who drives you nuts. The woman who gives "Christian" a bad name.
Then there's the other end of the spectrum. The woman who might as well tattoo "Welcome" on her forehead because her place in life is a doormat. Need to call someone at 2am every night? You've got her number. Need an extra $50 every now and then? She'll whip out that checkbook. Got a bunch of things on your to-do list that you don't really feel like doing? She'll give up sleep, family, and her own work in order to make your life easier. Her purpose in life is to please others at the cost of herself. Service is all she knows.
Christ commanded us to love one another as we love ourselves. Not less than. Not more than. We can't go around saying "To Hell with you" (even in the most inspiring of evangelical sermons). We also can't go around saying "yes" to every request. God wants us to put Him first. That means we should spend more time and effort drawing ourselves closer to Him than on the whims of humans.
On the balance scale of service, I definitely fall more under the doormat philosophy. So many times I look at my failures, my bad habits, my struggles with sin and forget just how precious I am in God's sight. To put it mildly, I'm no stranger to depression. It took me a nervous breakdown, a brief hospitalization, numerous medications that only masked the problem, and months of semi-effective therapy before I got to the root of the problem: I wasn't paying attention to what God had to say about me in His word. He loved me. He thought I was beautiful and precious. He had great plans for me. He forgave me. I just couldn't do that for myself. Finding my meaning, my purpose in life fell completely on What Can I Do For Others. Every time I did something for someone that they couldn't do, I swelled with self-importance. As soon as they didn't need me or my psyche disentigrated under the pressure, I fell apart.
Being in academia is a trigger for this part of me, this struggle to find acceptance in a world that is never really accepting. Write a great paper? Good--write another one. Advance a bit more in your writing skills? Nice one--now why aren't you still progressing even farther? Going to help host a conference? Great--now make sure everything goes off without a hitch even though not everyone else will pull their own load (and don't forget that if THEY drop the ball, YOU get blamed). Academia has no time for those who aren't constantly striving to do something bigger, something better. After all, colleges get a lot of fame by what their professors do that no one else is doing. Now in a recessive economy, you have to be pulling overtime on overtime hours in order to get one of those coveted full-time positions. Unless you're famous, you are probably out of luck.
It's times like these when I feel my world wanting me to take care of everyone else's problems, accomodate everyone else's beliefs, without once considering what I need or what I believe (personal issues are dropped at your office door, remember?) that I wonder if God has answered the many requests to "get out of our schools." Without God's love, without true understanding and service, universities and colleges become homes for the unbalanced. The judgmental. The angry.
If there is one thing I wish for America's institutions of learning, from preschool to PhDs, it is the Christian balance. Where others are just as important as ourselves. Where God comes first. Where there is true kindness and responsibility and an effort to work together as a team. A family united by God.
So, to all of you out there in the world of academia, let's start a movement to put God back in our schools. Pray at your desk and before you teach each class. Think about what is best for your students' overall health (spiritual, emotional, mental, educational) when designing assignments and giving extensions. Promote an atmosphere where kindness and understanding are the core curriculum--we all know how ideas such as "manners" and "professionalism" have gone out the window these days. Most of all, make sure that you are spending just as much time on yourself as you do on others. It's not easy--I'm still working on it and fail most days. I promise you, though, on the days that you do achieve the balance, you'll feel the difference.
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